ExcerptStopping Verbal Abuse in Its TracksLike many people in verbally abusive relationships, Sarah thinks that if only she changed, she communicated more clearly, she explained things better, her husband wouldn’t get so mad at her. But as Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, explains, abuse victims don’t realize that the problem isn’t theirs: it’s in the abuser’s need to dominate and control. When Sarah’s husband yells at her for no reason, she thinks he’s misunderstood her. She doesn’t realize that he’s not looking for understanding, he’s establishing his power over her. Sarah’s story exhibits several of the hallmarks of verbal abuse: • It’s hostile. • It’s unpredictable and even bizarre; the attack comes out of the blue. • The victim feels confused and surprised.
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