Excerpt

The Fears That Prevent Us from Speaking Up

© Claire Communications

You might prefer to train wild lions than tell another person what’s really on your mind. But it is possible to develop an assertiveness connected to head and heart that clears the way for honest, empowered living—without being rude to others or surrendering to “nice-itis.”

Those who stay mum when they would be better off speaking their mind do so for a variety of reasons:

• Fear of being rejected. Any time you risk disclosing yourself, you become vulnerable. Communications skills, such as those taught in Non-Violent Communication (NVC) or Powerful Non-Defensive Communication (PNDC), teach how to combine vulnerability with strength and compassion for power¬ful connections.

• Fear of what you would tell yourself if you or any requests you make are rejected. If you speak up and tell your officemate how much you would like to go out with her, you definitely risk rejection. But if you are rejected, does that really mean you’re unlovable? Destined to a life alone? Or is that just a story?

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