Excerpt

Confidence and Self-Respect Through Conflict

© Claire Communications

Not only is conflict a normal part of life, it can be managed and even made into a positive jumping-off point for becoming a stronger and calmer person. Confronting someone—be it a business partner or a family member—and feeling that both of you “won” can be as exhilarating as jumping out of a plane. And in the case of conflict, your life-saving parachute is a set of tools that help you survive any encounter or conflict situation....

It’s not unusual for most people to hate confrontation; in fact, it’s difficult for most people to skillfully handle any kind of conflict—at home or in the workplace. And yet, the benefits of doing so include more self-confidence, less anger, greater self-respect and more intimacy, according to Tim Ursiny, author of The Coward’s Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run than Fight. His book outlines practical tips for dealing with conflict with family members, friends and co-workers, including the following:

• Focus on the upside. Conflict avoiders often perceive only the downside. They need to see the positive side of confronting someone.

• Start by finding something that you both agree on (even if it’s only 1%).

• Admit your role. If you are even partly at fault, be sure to acknowledge your mistake up front.

 

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