ExcerptHow Well Constructed Are Your Boundaries?Boundaries are those invisible lines of protection you draw around yourself. They let people know your limits on what they can say or do around you. Healthy boundaries give you freedom in relating to others. Make them too solid and you build walls, too weak and you allow other’s actions to harm you. How well-constructed are your boundaries? Take a few minutes to find out. 1. I start statements with “I” rather than “you” or “we.” This lets me own what I say and is less defensive than “you” and more clean than “we.” 2. My boundaries are specific and clear. “I don’t accept phone calls after 10 p.m.” Rather than vague and mushy. “Don’t call me too late.” 3. I’m consistent when I create boundaries. If I say “no phone calls after 10 p.m.,” I don’t make exceptions unless the situation is truly exceptional.
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